Whether you’re in bed with your wife for the first time, or you’ve been married for YEARS, we all have this fantasy idea of how sex SHOULD be… how it COULD be…
And, as it turns out… she’s no different– She also has a fantasy of how she wishes the sex COULD be…
…These 3 tips alone will often do the trick.
1. DON’T FOCUS TOO MUCH ON JUST THE MAGIC BUTTONS
We all know that there are certain places on a woman that “work.”
The clitoris, the “G-spot,” and her nipples are the most obvious ones, and by the very enjoyable process of trial and error and just touching her body, you’ll find plenty of others that are unique to her.
But it is very important that you don’t go for these buttons too early.
I know this is starting to sound like the old, typical lecture on foreplay.
I’m going to tell you something very different.
There is a neuro-chemical effect in the brain called “nerve-saturation” or “sense saturation.”
Basically what it boils down to is that when a nerve keeps firing and firing, the brain has a way to ignore it so that it doesn’t become distracting or irritating.
Everyone experiences this “saturation” effect in their daily lives.
The classic example is the feeling of your shirt against your skin.
When you first slide your shirt on, you can feel the fabric rubbing against your chest, your arms, your back… but throughout the day, you are never aware of that feeling of being touched.
The shirt is touching you all day, so the nerve endings that are supposed to tell the brain that you are being touched SHOULD be firing away all day long… and they DO…
Yet you don’t feel it.
Here’s another example. Ever been in a loud room, maybe a restaurant or a place with a loud air conditioner?
When you first go inside, you hear all of this noise… but after a few minutes, you are talking to your friends, and you don’t hear the crowd or the air conditioner anymore…
The noise becomes background silence, and you only hear the things you are listening to.
Your brain shuts off the distracting signals.
Well, a similar thing can happen when you are making love to a woman and spending too much time touching one spot on her body.
At first it seems exciting, and like she’s getting into it… but then as you continue, and continue… and… continue… you don’t seem to get her any further.
In fact, maybe she even seems to be coming down from her excitement a bit.
And then you sort of start rubbing harder and more furiously, and she’s ALMOST there…
Saturation has set in and the touch is no longer thrilling the way it was when you first gently grazed your finger tips over the area.
One solution is, in fact, more foreplay– so that by the time you get to that “button” or magic spot on her body, she is excited enough and close enough to orgasm that you can take her over the edge before saturation sets in.
In fact, if she is at that level and you bring her over into the land of orgasm, instead of saturation, the OPPOSITE often happens and the area becomes hyper-sensitized and you’ve got to back off or go more gently.
Foreplay is not the only answer however.
You could also touch her sensitive spots, whether it’s her clitoris, her nipples, or any place else that gets her crazy, and then back off it as
soon as she’s really getting into it. Then return for a little more until she is going crazy.
In other words, instead of foreplay, try TEASING.
It works great and it allows you to use her most sensitive and erotic areas to get her more and more excited without over-saturating the nerve endings.
Finally, when you keep backing off andreturning this way, she’ll get to a state where she is so excited that she is nearly ready to explode.
And that’s when you can go ahead and bring her to orgasm with this next tip…
2. PAY ATTENTION TO RHYTHM
When guys mess this one up, it is one of the most frustrating things in the world to women.
Yet, according to women, almost every guy messes it up.
To women, it seems so simple that they can’t believe that men could be so brain-dead as to miss it, but the funny thing is… it’s just the way we are wired. We can’t help “going for it.”
Here’s the scenario:
You’re making love and you’re doing something that’s got her really excited– maybe with your tongue, maybe with your finger, maybe during actual intercourse.
And so, because it’s getting her really excited, she starts to moan or breath faster, or tense her muscles… And that gets YOU excited…
So you start doing it harder or faster…
She wants to scream with frustration.
Because she was ALMOST there…
Because once you start doing it harder or faster, it’s no longer the thing that got her excited in the first place. It’s not quite as good anymore.
So she shifts around or grunts or tries to give you some kind of hint that it’s not working anymore… and of course, as men, we have no idea what they are trying to tell us, so maybe we try to go even harder and even faster…
And she’s getting nowhere.
Now, in her head, she can’t figure out what went wrong. It was good there for a minute… and she was moaning to let you know that you found the right rhythm… and somehow, in her mind, you just must have missed the signal, because suddenly you’re doing something different.
All men do this. We’re just enthusiastic, I guess. We like to sprint when we get close to the finish line.
But making love is not a race.
Try this instead:
When you are with a woman and something you are doing makes her moan or arch her back or breath faster or tense her muscles…
KEEP DOING WHAT YOU’RE DOING.
Don’t do it faster. Don’t do it harder. Don’t do it deeper.
Just keep doing EXACTLY what is working, and don’t change the rhythm at all.
A very short time later she will have a very sweet and satisfying orgasm.
But… what if you’ve done the foreplay and the teasing, then found the right rhythm to drive her home… and she still doesn’t come?
Well, this is pretty common, and there is a solution, but it’s a bit more complicated than the first two tips, and it’s much more psychological than physical…
But it is by far the most powerful of these 3 tips:
3. GIVE HER PERMISSION
Well, I saved the best for last.
This is by far the most powerful tip that I am sharing in this newsletter, and if you really understand it and learn to do it, it will put you into an entirely different class from any other man she has ever been with.
As mysterious as this may sound to you– most women need “permission” to have an orgasm.
Most women can do this for themselves– they can give themselves permission to come. And they will certainly do that when they are masturbating.
But some women can’t have an orgasm even when they are alone and masturbating.
Now I don’t have a degree in psychology, and I don’t know why women are so often wired this way and why men are not…
I just know that many women simply can’t give THEMSELVES permission to have an orgasm… And that this is MUCH more common when they are with a partner making love.
The reason it is more common with a partner is probably because for many women, on some level (even if it is unconscious) sex is shameful or embarrassing.
They are shy and embarrassed about their own powerful desires. They are ashamed of their bodies. They are worried about the funny faces they make when they come or even get excited. They may be worried about the way they smell. They are afraid of losing control in front of you and doing something that you might think is really weird or funny.
And they are USUALLY NOT EVEN AWARE themselves that this is what is going on.
In other words…
Women have ISSUES.
Just like us… Just different issues.
(For example, a man all these insecurities are likely to lead to performance anxiety)
Okay, so because of all of this, very often the simple truth of giving a girl a world-melting orgasm is simply to make her feel like “it’s okay.”
So how do you make a girl feel like it’s okay? How do you give her “permission” to come?
Well, that’s a bit complicated, but once you understand it, it’s as simple as using a fork to eat your dinner.
It requires two steps– the first is to earn her SEXUAL TRUST, and the second is to inform her that it’s okay.
Telling a woman: “it’s okay for you to come,” before you have earned her trust is a waste of time.
But once you have earned her sexual trust, it’s so simple that you could actually use those words, or even just hold eye contact with her, and very
gently nod your head, “yes,” and that will be enough.
There are many ways to earn a woman’s sexual trust, and none of them have to do with issues in the real world.
It’s not the same as regular day-to-day world trust.
It means giving her the feeling that you will NEVER JUDGE her for her sexuality or her sexual desire.
It means that she believes that you will never make her feel weird about sex, about her body, or about the way she responds to touch.
And also, it means that she can feel YOUR sexual confidence– that she knows she is in safe, competent, comfortable hands. That she is with a lover that knows what he is doing, or at least is not afraid or nervous about what he is doing.
It means that she can FEEL that YOU have no sexual issues or insecurities.
These are the things that build sexual trust.
Of course there is more to it, but there is only so much that I can cover in this article.
Once you have established this trust, the only other thing you need to do is give her your permission, and she will have the orgasm of her life.
Even if she’s never had an orgasm before.
I know it sounds like weird new-age mumbo-jumbo…
But I guarantee you, that if you try to work with just these three ideas, you will be blown away by the effect it will have on the women that you go to bed with.
Obviously I believe that sex is an incredibly important thing. I think it is something beautiful and powerful, and at it’s best it can be a true expression of love between two people that creates radiant happiness.
I want you and the woman in your life to really experience this gift.
Your sex life really can be everything that you’ve always imagined. Keep reading these articles here on aLoveLinksPlus, and make them part of your life. You won’t regret it.
Eventually you will want to figure out how give her multiple and stacked orgasms, “female ejaculation,” and to prolong her orgasms until she is on the verge of passing out.